​On the final day of my 30th year of life, I found no feelings of success and relief, but instead of shame for the fact that I am not where I thought I would be. I’m not too sure where I thought I’d be, but there’s a feeling of failure that resonated deep within me at the beginning of the month. I find myself in a constant battle with these so-called demons that I allowed to overcome me.

​You may not know, but I had a goal to do my very own TedTalk. Watching a podcast is part of my morning regimen, so I dreamed of being a speaker someday. Although I am an introvert and find large crowds confusingly overwhelming, talking on stage to hundreds is a lot easier than meaningless small talk with random people. Either way, I was on my way to reaching that goal when schedules didn’t play into my favor. World Championships took precedence, international competitions came calling, something of slightly more importance always showed up, and my energy had to be diverted.