Four months have past since I last posted, so numerous apologies are in order! It is not like my mind has been completed shut off, I've just been too busy looking into my mind to remember. A bit lost? I will explain throughout this post.
The track season is well upon us, and I must say that it is going by slower than I thought. The indoor season came and went with nothing to really show. I battled with knee pains, body pains that still come and go, but manageable. Nonetheless, as my training partners would point out, I still came out a new national record holder in the 60m dash.
The beginning of the outdoor season was inaugurated with a lot of learning lessons. Although, workouts have been coming around very effectively, I struggled to put everything together at the meets. Alongside adjusting to new training cycles, and diet regimens, I thought it wise to enroll into a Master’s program and work on retrieving my M.B.A, a wise choice on my end (sarcastic tone needed). So with 6-hour training days, classwork, and constantly reaching out to gain sponsors, I am literally losing my mind, like trying to find Darth Vader in a dark room.
I did, however, come away with my first competition as a Samoan sprinter! In the month of May, I competed in my first Oceania Championships and came away with a new Championship record in the 200m dash, gaining an automatic qualifier spot for World Championships at the end of August. Bags are packed and ready for Beijing! So that is a relief. I also became the new national record holder for the 100m and 200m.
So the question goes… What is so wrong with me that I cannot showcase my true abilities at track meets? Like I stated in the beginning, I am spending too much time in my mind. Plain and simple.
I work hard in the 36+ hours of practice every week, constantly improving beyond my expectations. My diet and health are on a steady increase to becoming great. But when that gun goes off at a meet, I allow myself to get lost in my mind. I think too much on how I must prove myself worthy. Instead of trusting all the work you have solidified, instead of trusting that what you do is all a part of your happiness, I bound myself to the past, creating forces that present themselves in the current time. I am stuck internally, to the point of exhaustion, working for the acceptance of others, instead of within myself.
I will discuss further in future blogs, but until then, I will say that I am learning that past mistakes are not who you are now. Experiences are life’s tools to promote growth. As I am constantly reminded everyday, “You are LITERALLY a new person than you were 2 years ago.” Every cell in your body regenerates to the point that you are a whole new person, a whole new YOU. It is your choice on what you will do with the new version of yourself.
“There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.” –Ronald Reagan.
Jeremy Dodson is a Track & Field Olympian who struggles with the idea of perfection, hoping to break the barrier we place on ourselves so that genuine living can take place for everyone.